Approach Women Tip #1: Make Approaching Women Fun, Not a Task
Do not view approaching women as a task.
Meeting women is a chore for most men. They feel pressure or feel they need to achieve something or have their egos boosted.
Instead, approaching women should be fun, playful, something that you like to do, because you want to get to know this person in front of you and find out who this person really is and what they’re really like. If you view the woman in front of you as a task, as a goal to be achieved, you only serve in objectifying them which breaks rapport.
Imagine you meet a girl at a bar and she only sees you as a dollar sign. She only wants to know how much money you make. In her mind she’s talking to you simply to a fulfill a goal of finding a rich sugar-daddy and not there to get to know you. Women pick up on the same thing when you see them as a mere task.
So, yes you can be determined in your goals, but be playful. Don’t view approaching women simply as “seduction” but rather as an opportunity to get sexual rapport with this person and create a genuine connection between you and her.
#2: No One Is Looking At You!
Remember this: NO ONE IS LOOKING AT YOU! No one cares. Anxiety is all in your head!
Reality flash: the world does not revolve around you. People are not watching your every move when you approach a group of girls. Other people are too busy thinking about themselves than about you.
In fact, even if someone is looking at you, how do they know that you don’t already know this woman you’re approaching, how do they know that this woman you’re approaching isn’t already your friend. The only reason they would suspect anything is if you approach her nervously and awkwardly.
As long as you approach a group of girls comfortably, in a relaxed manner, no one looking at you would know what you’re doing or what your relationship with the women is.
#3: Enjoy The Process
When it comes to approaching girls, place importance on the process and enjoy the process.
In other words, you do not place any particular importance to any one approach or to any one woman.
If you do so, you’re only shutting down the process of becoming a social individual and of getting rapport. When you place importance in any one woman or approach you’re only short circuiting the learning process that requires repetition and experimentation. You’re throwing your energy and intent in one direction when it needs to be thrown in another.
Remember, you’re not after the girl, you’re after the skill. What would a hungry man rather have, a fish, or the ability to catch fish? What would you rather have, a shot at one woman or the natural ability to attract any woman around you? So enjoy the process.
Be patient, don’t be needy, trust the process of becoming a social individual that can easily and naturally open and meet women. Don’t create a fantasy world inside your head around one woman you don’t really know.
I’ve known time and time again guys who get hung up over one particular woman, when often she hardly even knows they exist or she’s been frank with them that she’s not interested. These guys are spending their limited time and resources investing in a false fantasy when they should be spending that time and resources developing themselves into the kind of man that all women are naturally attracted to.
You could also characterize this belief in another way: as no fear of loss, as having not only the ability to approach a woman, but also having the ability to walk away from her. If you have the ability to show interest in a woman and at the same time show her that you don’t need her, she’s just met the biggest challenge of her life and she’ll respond powerfully to you.
Remember, enjoying the process is what is the most important. Every day you go out and ACT you will find it a learning experience and you will FEEL GOOD the morning after knowing that you went out and DID IT.
#4. Don’t Let Pretty Girls Trance You Out
Now a lot of guys also get tranced out, stopped in their tracks, unable to open their mouths by what they perceive as a beautiful woman and her sexy hypnosis. But the fact of the matter is, much of a woman’s beauty is a cleverly crafted allusion of make-up, carefully selected clothes, and hair styling. Most women, without their make-up, without their clothes, and without their grooming do not look like beauty queens in the morning when they first wake up.
Don’t let the makeup, sunglasses, highlighted hair, high heals, sparkles on her skin or any of that cosmetic fakery designed solely for the purpose of hypnotizing you dead in your tracts effect you with their sexy hypnosis.
After all, you can take a dorky-looking nerdy college girl that no one would give a second look, dress her up in a $1,000 dress, give her a professional hairstyling, professional make-up, heels and three months of gym training, and her very presence will hypnotize everyone she meets.
That illusion of the sexy hypnosis is completely in your own head, it’s buying into THEIR frame of value and social status they’re trying to project to the world.
Because if you treat women who have carefully constructed an IMAGE of beauty, just as everyone else treats them, just like every other guy who will let that image affect them, you’ll freeze up.
So don’t let your perception of a woman’s beauty, or your perception of her social value and status, affect you. Treat her like any other women you might approach and you’ll come across as unique, different, confident, relaxed, and like no other guy she’s met before.
#5. Befriend Her Group
Now in a lot of cases, you’ll find that women you want to approach are actually in a group, either with a group of girlfriends, guy friends, or a mix of both.
When a woman is in a group, and you only talk to her while ignoring her friends, her friends will often try to interrupt you, get her away from you, and in general try to block you from continuing the interaction. That’s not an effective way to befriend all the girls.
So the trick is to open and become friends with the entire group.
For example, if you see a group of two or three girls, approach between them all and open with an opinion opener on ALL the girls at once to befriend the girls. Get the opinion of all the girls and get them all talking with you. When you get rapport with her friends, they’ll let down their guards and the one that responds best you can then focus your conversation with her.
#6. Speak Slow And Sexy
I went to Pollo Tropical, a restaurant, to pick up some food to eat. The young lady at the register, she must have been about 22, asked, “How can I help you,” with a rather beaten-down look on her face. As I approached, I gave her a big, wide smile while making eye contact and held it for a few beats. Then I responded by saying, “hi.”
In response her demeanor transformed and gave me a big smile back. She asked again, “How can I help you?” but enthusiastically this time. I said, “Hmm… give me the… mambo combo,” with another big smile and with a slow sexy voice while making direct eye contact with her.
At this point she started to giggle. So I stretched out my order banter for a good five minutes just reading off the menu – no other real conversation whatsoever. Smiling, eye contact and voice tonality, nothing more.
Well soon she was giggling and I asked her for her number. I got it and we hadn’t even exchanged a normal word of conversation with each other.
You can bypass a woman’s conscious mind of critical judgment and directly stimulate her lower limbic brain, a much older part of the brain, where thoughts of lust and mating begin.
I can tell you right now with absolute certainty, that changing how you sexually communicate nonverbally with your voice tonality, body language, eye contact patterns, smile, touch, and more is the fastest way to create attraction and sexual rapport with women… the way to completely bypass that thinking part of her brain that would normally think to itself, “Oh he’s not attractive enough,” or “he’s too old for me”, or “he’s too young for me,” or simply “he’s just not my type.”
Tips For Approaching Women In Night Clubs
Here are guidelines for meeting girls in clubs you’ll want to follow:
#1: Avoid looking at the dance floor like the plague. The dance floor is naturally hypnotic and will naturally draw you in. DO NOT LOOK AT IT. There is nothing there. It is an illusion. Looking at the dance floor only generates NEGATIVE social proof for you.
#2: Avoid walking around by yourself. You only look a like a valueless loner when you do this. Also, if you’ve built up any positive social proof in one corner of the club, you’ll lose it all if you move to another corner.
#3: Avoid the noisiest areas of the club. Find the quietest area where it’s easiest to talk and plant yourself there. You don’t want to be yelling over ear-breaking noise and most clubs do have a quiet corner or two.
Also, it’s quite alright to go to clubs alone. Why? BECAUSE YOU WON’T BE ALONE FOR LONG. Within 5 to 10 minutes of being in the club you should be talking to someone getting social proof.
Look at the whole club scene as one of collecting social proof points. In this particular moment, are you talking to a set of girls and collecting points? Or are you staring at the dance floor alone, losing points? Remember, you walk into the club with zero social proof points, with a clean slate. Everything you do will either up your status or lower it. Everything you do signals women to categorize you as a “loner” or as a “sexy guy”.
“How am I improving my social proof for social value?” should be the question always on your mind at the club.
More Inner Game Tips For Approaching Women
Most women, as most human beings, are friendly. They won’t be offended when you approach them.
No one is looking at you when you approach a woman. No one knows what you’re doing or even cares.
Underneath their cultural programming, women like sex as much as men do.
You are not your past. Your past is over! Today, tomorrow you can do new things, be a new person.
Do not view approaching women as task. Have fun, be playful with it.
You get better through experience, not academic studying. You must go out there and do the exercises.
Have the attitude of experimentation. Everything you do is an opportunity to learn something new.
And do not place any particular importance to any one approach or to any one woman.