Here are a few things he probably would have wanted to know before dating a shortie.
1. Bending over will become an art form. Even if we go up on our tip-toes and stretch our arms as far as they can go just to hug you, you still have to bend. You want to kiss us? You either have to sit down or bend down. Meeting the family and realizing that the short height gene runs rampant? We apologize in advance for your future visits to the chiropractor.
2. Your clothes aren’t just loose on us; they’re gargantuan. Some guys like it when their girlfriends wear their clothes but on short girls, your plain old t-shirt is basically a dress. Pair it with a sparkly belt and high heels and we’re ready for a night out in town.
3. We’re perfectly aware of our height, so stop bringing it up! You may think it’s cute and adorable to say, “Aww, babe, you’re so cute and tiny.” But hearing it over and over and over again? It just makes some of us more aware of how child-like we look, which brings up insecurities. You don’t want that. And it’s just not nice. We don’t constantly ask about the weather up there, do we?
4. We’ll complain about high heels but wear them anyway. The next time your short girl complains about wearing high heels, just nod and and be sympathetic. High heels can be a b!tch. We know this already but we’ll still wear them just for the euphoria of being three inches taller than normal. Besides, you’ll get a bit of relief, too — you won’t have to bend down so far to kiss us!
5. We need help grabbing the stuff from the higher shelves. Sometimes, we won’t ask for help. (You know, pride and all.) But when even a stepladder still can’t get us there, f*ck the pride — you are our salvation to fetching that desired box of Lucky Charms from the highest shelf at Target.
6. Please ask before picking us up. We are not toys. Yes, we know you think we’re cute and you want to twirl us around like in a Disney movie, but we’re not a stuffed animal. When people pick me up with no warning, I flip out and flail like a fish, which may result in elbows smashing into your pretty face. Please don’t do this. We like your pretty face and don’t want to be the cause of its destruction. If you really, really want to pick us up, just ask!
7. Don’t guess our age. One of the problems vertically-challenged girl friends face is strangers a$$uming we’re younger than we really are. I already have a “youthful face” that’s plagued me since highschool (people thought I was in middle school.) Pair that with my height and strangers think my boyfriend is dating a 15-year old when, in reality, I’m a year older than him.
8. We’re tougher than we look. Yes, we’re cute and adorable and we appreciate you trying to protect us from the big, bad world. But don’t underestimate us; we can fight our own battles and hey, if we have to survive in this tall, tall world, we gotta have tough skin.